


Why I Need You

by aingealcethlenn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-15 14:57:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13615779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aingealcethlenn/pseuds/aingealcethlenn
Summary: Request - "Yay! Could you write one with Bucky? He and the reader are in love with each other but don’t know how to tell the other. Maybe some commentary from the other Avengers? Little smut if you’re not opposed to it ;)"





	Why I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings - Smut…Fingering, Unprotected sex… A little bit of language, little bit of angst..and of course some fluff
> 
> Word Count - 4,441

Working with the Avengers was a challenge to say the least.  
An _enjoyable_ one, but still a challenge.

This was why Y/N had opted to keep her apartment in the city. So she could have a safe, familiar place to escape to when things got just too… _heroically crazy._

It was rare that she would stay at the Tower over night, but Tony had a room set up for her anyway.  
When nights like _last night_ came around, she was glad to have a bed to sleep in rather than having to crash on the couch.

  
Just like every morning, Bucky and Steve had gotten up before everyone else in the Tower and had gone for a run. When they got back, they were a little surprised to see everyone still asleep. Each went to their separate room, to shower and get ready for the day before finding their way back to the kitchen.

Steve and Bucky settled onto the island stools, the former man looking to the latter. “So,” he began.

They had been silent their entire run, but now Steve had Bucky in his clutches…

“You and Y/N, huh Buck?” Steve said with a small smirk and a waggle of his eyebrows. **  
**

“What?” Bucky replied, confused for a moment before trying to ignore the way her name made him want to smile.

“I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want you distracted,” Steve chuckled, “but I saw you sneaking out of her room this morning before I came to get you for our run.”

Bucky’s cheeks heated up and he glanced away from Steve, as if just remembering.

“Oh, _that_ … “

“I think it’s _great_ you found someone, Buck,” Steve said with his genuine smile. “Y/N is a _great_ girl. You two are -”

“Whoa, whoa,” Bucky held his hands up, cutting Steve off. “No, no… It’s not… it’s nothing like _that_.”

“Then what _is_ it?” Steve asked, bemused at Bucky’s stammering.

“She just… I mean… “

“ _Well_?” Steve folded his arms, on the border of playful.

“She… dammit, Steve, she _calms_ me. When I’m sleeping next to her. The… it… it helps the… the nightmares… “ His voice trailed off. **  
**

Steve was still for a moment before he solemnly nodded, reassuring his friend that he understood.

“She deserves better than me though, if that _were_ true,” Bucky chuckled uncomfortably and humorlessly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Y/N holds all these high expectations of who she thinks I am… and I know I could never live up to that person in her head.”

“What do you mean?” Steve retorted disbelievingly.

Bucky let out a soft sigh, running his hands over his face before he continued.

“It’s like she thinks I walk on water, or that I… _hung_ the moon itself, Steve,” he confided in a low, quiet tone. “She thinks I have it all _together_ and _under control_. Swears I’m tough as nails. Every morning, she gives me this… this trusting _look_ , and I just don’t have the heart to tell her the truth.”

“Well, Buck, you came into her life at the right time.” **  
**

“Maybe.”

“ _Bucky_ … “

“You know, sometimes she cries on my shoulder when she’s lying next to me,” Bucky admitted quietly. “She’d _never_ let anyone else see her break down like that, though… The funny thing is, she thinks _she’s_ the lucky one. But she doesn’t realize that when I _‘hold her together’_ , she’s really holding _me_ together.”

Steve smiled softly at his friend. The look on Buck’s face… the man was in love.

“Every morning, like clockwork, she buries her face into my neck,” Bucky pressed on. “She plants a feather like kiss, and whispers against my skin… she says: _‘They just don’t make men like you Bucky’._ ” Buck shook his head slowly. “Sure, I smile and kiss her hair back… But she doesn’t know how much I need her, Steve.” Bucky sighed raggedly, rubbing his hand down his face once more.

“She doesn’t know I’d fall apart without that kiss… without her touch, without her arms just… bein’ there. She doesn’t know that it’s _all_ about her. That I can’t live without her. She’s my world, man. She’s my _everything_.”

He chuckles a little.  
“And she thinks she needs _me_.”

“So why not just tell her that?”

His soft features went stone cold.  
“I _can’t_.”

* * *

It had been a long day. **  
**

The Avengers had been called to straighten a mishap with some local mutants, but all-in-all, it hadn’t been worth the entire team assembling and shipping out, but everyone joined anyway.

They had been getting antsy.

But at the end of their night, the quinjet landed and everyone made their way into the tower. **  
**

Bucky, however, held back, leaving just him and Y/N alone in the hanger.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Bucky said, walking beside her as she made her way into the tower slowly. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“Uh, no,” Y/N replied, surprised, thinking now. “I wasn’t _planning_ on it, anyway.”

She looked up into his eyes, immediately noticing something was wrong. They both halted in their walk to the interior of the tower.  
“Why? Do you _need_ me to stay?” She asked, bless her.

Y/N and Bucky - of course - had a _complicated_ relationship.

The meaning of the word “complicated” _here_ means that: she secretly _loved_ him with her whole heart and he secretly loved _her_ with _his_ whole heart.  
They always wanted to be there, whenever the other needed, but neither could admit their true feelings to the other.

He had come to rely on her to help calm his demons, and she had come to depend on him and his silence to console her in her darkest thoughts.  
Unsure what it was about her exactly, he knew that when he was close to her, they could be silent. When he slept, with her wrapped in his arms; the nightmares were warded away.

“No,” he said, then immediately after: “I don’t know,” he mumbled, almost inaudibly.

He then said, louder, “Do you want a… a ride home? Later?”  
  
She smiled up at him, her eyes gleaming at his hidden proposal. “Sure, Buck. That would be great.”

Finally making their way into the Tower, it didn’t take long for the usual suspects to start in with their jokes.

“You know, there’s perfectly good beds in each of the rooms. You two don’t have to hide in the quinjet to _get it on_ ,” Tony quipped with a snicker as they walked through the door.

“Very funny, Stark,” Y/N snipped back, grinning. “But you know I’m not that type of girl. I’d rather have privacy, than to perform for your literally- _everywhere_ -cameras.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. Sam simply offered a high five as she walked past, and Steve could do nothing more than smile and shake his head in endearment. **  
**

After changing out of her uniform, and into some _normal_ clothes, Y/N made her way to the common area. Looking around, she couldn’t find Bucky anywhere, so she assumed he had already gone to the garage.

They knew better than to try to leave _together_.

Sam looked over the back of the couch, and saw her standing there.

“Leaving so soon?”

“Yea, I gotta get out of here.”

“Date?” Sam waggled his eyebrows.

“No,” she replied flatly. “Why would you ask that?”

Sam eyed her up and down.  
“Sexy, tight, low cut, black dress? Just to go home?”  
He jerked his head back and forth suggestively with each word when he purred, “ _I_ don’t _think_ so.”

“It’s just what I grabbed from my small stash of clothes, Wilson,” Y/N replied, chagrined and massaging the bridge of her nose. She had a headache all of a sudden. **  
**

“Barnes already went down to the garage, sayin’ he was going out for the night. If you think you two are hiding something, you,” he paused dramatically to smirk, “are _saaa-ha-hadly mistaken_.”

Steve came walking around the corner just in time to save Y/N.

“Need a lift home, Y/N?”  
  
“Uh, no, thanks Steve,” Y/N stammered. “I’m good.”

“Alright.”

He walked up and gave her the usual side-hug good-bye, like always, but this time he leaned down to whisper for only her to hear.  
“Take care of him, okay?”

She looked up at Steve, her eyes widened slightly. He just smiled and gave a subtle wink before turning and walking away again. **  
**

Making her way down to the garage, furiously trying to ignore the heat of her cheeks, Y/N smiled when she saw Bucky sitting there waiting, leaning against one of the cars.

He straightened up as he heard her approach, his eyes widening a small fraction as he took in her dress.

“You’ve never looked better, doll,” he whistled, and smiled at her laugh. He rested his hands on her waist, taking in the sight in front of him.

“You know they _are watching_ , Bucky,” she replied with a tight smile.

Nodding, he released her and opened the passenger door for her. Sliding in, she got situated and nodded for Bucky to close the door.

Once he was behind the wheel, he started the car and looked over to Y/N.  
  
“Why even bother looking at the reasons not to anymore? Huh?” Bucky said, with a smirk, and a mischievous gleam in his blue eyes.  
“Tomorrow, when they ask all their questions, we can tell a white lie about how I _dropped you off at home_ , and _walked you to the door_ and _nothing more_ …” Bucky was running his hand lightly from her knee to her mid-thigh before finally reaching for the gear shift and taking off.

First stop light he came to, he looked over at her and smiled mischievously once again. **  
**

“We have _all night_ doll, so how about, ‘til then, we kiss a little more.”  
He leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips without a reply. He chuckled lowly at her surprised ‘mmph!’.

As the light changed to green again, he pulled away and continued driving to her apartment.

“We can think a little less…” Bucky murmured into her neck at the next stop light. “Get you out of that _dress_.”

He rested his hand on her thigh, at the bottom edge of the dress, now sliding it up ever so slowly, “and maybe kiss a little more.”

They grinned at each other and Bucky parked in the apartment building’s garage.

Before Y/N could gather herself, her door opened next to her. Looking up, she saw those lust filled blue eyes staring down at her, and she couldn’t help but feel her stomach tighten. **  
**

Bucky held his hand out, and Y/N gladly took it. As soon as she was out of the car, he pressed her against the back door. His hands planted on the roof, one on either side of her head. With ease, his lips found hers in a heated embrace.

When they finally separated, she flashed a devious smirk and ducked under his arm. Bucky watched with smiling eyes as she giggled and ran for the elevator.

Y/N pushed the button, and waited with her back to Bucky. His eyes trailed up and down her body, wanting nothing more than to take her right then and there. The _ding_ of the elevator arriving snapped him from his thoughts.

Standing inside the doors, she crooked her finger, beckoning Bucky to her. He made his way toward her, with purpose. She could tell his demeanor had changed. From the soft, caring man she knew and loved, to one resembling a lion stalking it’s prey.

She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks again. As Bucky entered the small space, Y/N leaned back against the cold wall. His back to her as he pushed the button for her floor and waited for the doors to close.

Y/N could feel the pressure building again, and felt that all too familiar tingle between her legs. She tried desperately to squeeze her legs together in an effort to offer at least a little relief. **  
**

As soon as the doors closed, Bucky whipped around to face her. The smirk on his face told her everything. His eyes darted down to her legs, and back to her face.

“Mm-nm princess. Don’t do that.”

She let out a soft whimper, but stopped squeezing her legs together.  
Bucky sauntered up to her, and trapped her between the wall and his body.  
  
He rested his left hand on her hip. His right hand found it’s way to the hem of her little black dress. She was silently thanking the Gods that her elevator moved so painstakingly slow. Bucky’s right hand slid up her leg with barely enough pressure to be noticed.  
  
When he reached her bare hip, Bucky leaned in close, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin just below her ear. She could feel his warm breath tickling her, causing her to let out a desperate moan.

“Such a _naughty_ girl,” he growled. **  
**

His fingers continued to trail across her lower abdomen until they reached her center. Ghosting their way down her soft, delicate skin until they found what they were looking for.

Y/N could feel him smirk against her neck. His fingers sliding through her uncovered, slick folds with ease.

“For me doll?”

Not trusting her voice, Y/N just nodded in reply, biting her lip.

That was the invitation Bucky needed. He slowly slid his middle and ring fingers all the way in. Curling them, pressing against her tight walls, eliciting a sound from her lips that caused his own excitement to grow.

As Bucky’s lips made a trail along her neck and collarbone, his long, thick fingers worked in and out of her core. His thumb working her nub, helping to bring her close to the edge of ecstasy.

Just as she was about to fly over the edge of that cliff, the elevator sounded and the doors opened for her floor.

Bucky quickly removed his fingers, and wrapped his left arm around her waist to help hold her up as they made their way quickly to her apartment. Walking through the front door, Bucky quickly closed and locked it behind them. **  
**

Turning to face Y/N, just as her little black dress hit the floor, Bucky’s eyes widened.  
Every time he saw her this way, he realized just how good he had it.

He didn’t know how, but his shaky legs brought him right in front of her.

As she went to kneel before him, her hands on his belt, he stopped her and tugged her up to stand again.

Ignoring the confused expression on her face, he laid a soft, long kiss to her lips.

One that wasn’t without passion; but was simple.

When they finally broke away, Bucky reached over his head and quickly pulled his shirt off while Y/N worked to loosen his jeans, allowing them to fall to the floor and his rock hard member to spring free. Toeing off his shoes, Bucky stepped out of his pants and kicked them aside.

Wrapping his arms around Y/N, he lifted her up and her legs instinctively wrapped around his hips, careful not to hurt him with the heels she still wore. **  
**

As he walked to her room, his right hand slid up her back gently. Pinching the fabric of her bra between his fingers, he expertly unclipped it. She quickly discarded it somewhere in the hallway as Bucky continued on his path.

Once they entered the room, he went straight to the bed, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Setting her down, his lips hovered just centimeters above hers.

His hands cupped her face gently.  
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

His lips finally touched hers again, just as he slipped himself inside of her. Slowly burying himself to the hilt. Swallowing the moan that tried to escape her, Bucky smiled.

He could feel her body clench around him, eliciting a deep rumble from his chest. She rocked her hips under him, letting him know exactly what she wanted.  
  
Bucky didn’t need any more encouraging. He drew his hips back slowly, making Y/N whimper at the loss, before pushing back into her. Listening intently to every beautiful sound she made.

Gripping the sheets next to her, Y/N continued to rock her hips. Matching Bucky’s movements. What had she done to deserve this kind of attention from such a perfect specimen? **  
**

Whatever it was, she’d have to make sure to do it again… And _again_ … _And again._

Running her hands up his arms, reaching around his back and pulling him down to her chest. He kissed and nipped at her neck. Her nails scraped down his back as she arched into him even more.

Feeling him begin to throb inside her, she clenched around him yet again. Each feeling their release quickly approaching. Bucky’s hips began to move faster, losing all rhythm and instead just working toward that peak.

His thrusts were rough, deep, needing.

“ _Please_ Bucky…” she moaned.

Bucky’s hand slipped between them, his thumb adding pressure to her sensitive nub. **  
**

“Let go for me doll.”

That was all she needed to finally fly over her edge. Her walls clenched around Bucky, tighter than he’d ever felt her before. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, and felt himself release rope after rope deep inside her core.

Resting his head in the crook of her neck, he gently kissed her salty skin.

“I _love_ you…” he mumbled into her collarbone.

Once he was able to steady his breathing, he worked his way along her jawline until his lips met hers yet again.

Pulling away, he finally stood up and made his way to the bathroom. Cleaning himself off, he got a small wet towel and brought it back into the room. He gently cleaned her off, being sure not to apply too much pressure.

Pushing herself up into the bed, Y/N sat up and finally removed her heels, setting them just under the bed so she wouldn’t trip over them in the morning. Laying down, she rested her head on the pillow, careful to face away from Bucky.

She curled the covers over her shoulder and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes tiredly. **  
**

_Don’t overthink it_ , she thought to herself, her brows furrowing insecurely.

Too late.

Her thoughts turned to the words he had murmured against her body… _Did he really say… what I think he said? No. He couldn’t. It..It had to be a mistake. Right?_

Bucky tossed the towel into the laundry basket, before climbing into the bed behind Y/N.

After a moment of settling under the covers, his cold metal fingers found their gentle spots on her hip and gently brought her towards the middle of the bed as he moved forward in tandem, his chest meeting her back.

He draped his arm around her, and pulled her in close. Feeling her body relax, and melt into his.

While she felt her insecurity and doubt, Bucky was oblivious. _This is perfection,_ he thought, inhaling her scent. _This is what I want every, single, night. This is love._

Bucky smiled into her hair as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Three weeks had passed since the night Bucky had brought Y/N back to her apartment. She had hardly spoken to him since, and he was beginning to get worried that something had gone wrong. **  
**

Sure, she tried to behave as if everything was normal. Y/N would still sit with Bucky, still help him anytime he needed her. But he knew her well enough to know something was wrong.

The truth was, she couldn’t bring herself to completely ignore the three little words he’d said that night. _Did he actually mean them? Was it just something he had said in the moment?_

She knew in heart how strong her _own_ feelings were, but she couldn’t know the full extent of _his_. Though, she couldn’t find the strength to bring it up to him either.

It was late again, when Y/N returned from her latest mission. Not wanting to bother with going home, she opted to stay at the Tower for the night.

While Y/N had been off on a mission with Natasha, Clint, and Stark, Bucky managed to find some down time to think things through. He toyed with the idea of telling her the truth. Telling her exactly how he felt and _not_ as he panted against her, well-spent…

Steve assured him that it was the right choice. Without revealing too much about what he knew of Y/N’s feelings toward Bucky, of course. **  
**

Standing outside her door, he tried to gather the courage to step inside. The possibilities of how the events could unfold, playing like a movie in his head. He knew what needed to be done.

He opened her door slowly, peering around the edge to find her sitting cross legged on her bed. He stood watching her scribble away in her notebook, it was as if the rest of the world had dissolved away.

He cleared his throat, trying to get her attention without startling her. Looking up from her lap, she beamed up at him brightly.

“If you’re busy I can–” **  
**

“–No!” she interrupted softly, a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes accompanying her words. “Come, sit.” She patted the bed next to her.

Closing her notebook, she leaned over and set it on her side table. Bucky took a seat on her bed, his feet still on the floor.

She could tell something was off.

With a furrow of her brow, she asked, “What’s wrong, Bucky?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now,” he began quietly, “and I really just need to be honest with you.”

Her small smile dropped a little. “Okay?”

He took her hands and looked down - noticing just how perfectly they fit together.

“Y/N… I - _uhh_ … You…”

“Just _say_ it, Bucky. Please.”

He sighed, trying to articulate just what he wanted to say.

“I have _so many questions_ … that I-,” he began softly. “So many places to go… And there are just… _too many_ options, and too many _unknowns_ …” he paused for a moment, avoiding her eyes and missing how they were softening to a sympathetic stare. **  
**

“There are so many problems, and no one who _cares enough_ to fix them… There are so many roads in my head, Y/N…. and they all need repairs… But… “

Lifting his eyes finally, his gaze locked onto hers and he smiled softly.

“This is why I need you, Y/N.”

Y/N’s face fell completely in shock. “Bucky…?”

“You keep the ship moving forward, and you make it easy for me to try to get through another day,” he pressed on, moving a hand to cradle her cheek. “You have a way of making my _crazy_ feel _normal_ … every single time.”

She was deathly still for a long minute before she scooted closer to him on the bed and placed herself in his lap. Resting her head on his shoulder, Bucky wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“You make the darkness less _dark_ , and the edges less sharp. You make my weakness… less _weak_.” **  
**

Her embrace tightened as tears welled in her eyes, threatening to fall and soak his shoulder.

“I’m afraid of the things in my head,” she whispered into his shoulder, tears threatening to spill.

“Most days, my demons are silent. But when they talk?” she paused, breathing in shakily, “Oh, _God_ how they scream…”

Y/N was silent for a long moment, shocked still at the admission, and how her shoulders relaxed but were shaking with soundless sobs.  
He felt no wetness on his shoulder, so he pulled her up to look into her eyes.

Her jaw was set, and her eyes jumped away from him. He saw that they looked like gleaming ponds with the unshed tears that lingered.

With a blink, her eyes flooded and she hastily wiped her face clear of them.

“A-and when they become _too much_ for us,” she stammered out, breathing heavily, “that’s when we seek out someone with the same demons, whether consciously or not. _That’s_ how we find… fuckin’ _love_ , Bucky.”

They stared for a long, long moment - Bucky too dazed to add anything…

“I _couldn’t_ be happier to have been found by you,” she murmured steadfastly, her misty eyes boring into his own. “We can stay here and laugh away that fear, right?”

Bucky’s arms rewound around her, his hands cradling her neck and shoulders. “ _Right_.”

They leaned closer, their lips brushing softly over the other’s and she whispered, “I love you, Bucky Barnes,” with a small, growing smile.

Bucky’s smile was luminous, as his ice-blue eyes bolted between hers, the corners of his crinkling.

“I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N…” he murmured in awe.

Smiling a wide smile herself, she curled herself into his chest and rested her lips upon the juncture where his neck met his collarbone.

Bucky’s eyes slid shut at the feeling of her breath on his neck and became drowsy… **  
**

Smirking, he slowly descended backwards until his back hit the bed, Y/N squealing briefly at the sudden falling sensation.

She allowed her legs to fall to one side of Bucky’s body and wove one of her legs between his, his thick bicep cushioning her head like a perfect pillow.

They stayed like this for hours, just in each other’s arms. Together.

* * *

It was around seven o’clock that the usual crowd at the Avengers Tower noticed the absence of Bucky and Y/N. **  
**

Sam suspected the worst, making innuendos and sly comments that earned him a few laughs, but mostly light punches from Natasha.

It was Tony, Sam and Steve that decided to hunt down the (obvious) couple.

They tried Bucky’s room, but only found it dark in the fading light of the sun across New York’s horizon.

When they came to Y/N’s room, though, Steve took the initiative to approach quietly and carefully.

With a soft, barely audible rap against the metal from Steve, Tony overrode the automatic lock and opened the door.

Steve had placed himself in front of the two men with him, so he could easily stop Sam from barging in to disturb the sleeping pair.

Tony was surprisingly quiet, but upon glancing back, Steve noticed the small little grin tugging at his lips…

“C’mon, guys…” Steve whispered smugly. “I think we can settle our wagers in the living room?”


End file.
